Hello, where'd my life go?

Ditched angklung because I literally felt like a piece of shit in the toiletbowl swirling round and round. Had time with Diy where we practically ranted and expressed our opinions and sulked and talked about the things that bother us. And y'know what, I cannot take it anymore. I cannot live on not being happy and going to school everyday convincing myself this is for my benefit. I think I've been kidding myself all this while because school sucks. I'm freaking fifteen and I don't have a life at all. No social life, nothing. I'm fifteen and I feel 50. A 100 year old woman would have had more fun. MYAs just ended last week and the first day back we have lessons? Full-on lessons with no sympathy, no sensitivity? We worked our butts off and we're not in the mood to study, not even to look at the damn whiteboard. )': I'm tireddd of school. IM TIRED LA. I feel like pulling my hair out and screaming and kicking. RARRRARRARRR! If you were in front of me right now, I'd bite you. Give us a break. Why don't we have a break? WE NEED A BREAK. Doesnt anyone understand??? Other schools have breaks. Hell, theyre so much smarter than us OKAY MAYBE ME. My math is wayyy below average. Dont start on Chem&Bio. Why do I even come to school? I dont even know now. And the most annoying thing is that we're expected to do our own research for everything THEN WHAT DO WE GO TO SCHOOL FOR): Might as well give us a worksheet with websites and books to read up. Omg I really cant stand this, I need a break. It's just post MYA and we're starting lessons like theres no tmr. I hate the school system or whatever system. I feel like I'm having this midlife crisis and I'm fifteen pleaseeeee. Save me someone? Diy&I realised we have so many problems which are almost impossble to solve. And I bet our feedback doesnt even reach the school heads. Noone hears our rants or asks our opinion before throwing every bloody thing in our faces. Crisis crisis it's just a quarter of my life man. And to make matters worse, orchard is filled with happy-looking teenagers that make you so jealous because you know they have a life. They're teenagers for crying out loud. Us?

My self-confidence is already damn low dang it. I wanna be PRETTY. I wanna be a teenage girl and go out and dress up and talk about nonsense. Now we just talk about nonsense everytime to relieve stress. Stress. People seem to say it easily without really thinking about it. I am so sick of people telling me to do my best and try harder and not to complain so much because it just makes me feel worse.No sane adult seems to understand what I'm/we're going through. I think I'm close to breaking point ):<

What happened to happiness?